So Hard

I tried so hard
To fill the blank spaces with words
These many days, these many nights,
And all I kept seeing
Was you.
In the loops of the 'Ls',
In the upturned arms of the 'Us', your shadow;
You slipped through
The curves of the 'Ss'
And I saw myself
Crucified on the 'Ts'.
So I tore them all up
And played music all night.

I tried so hard, so hard
Not to skip the rests,
And yet
Lost time, as the E strings
Drew patterns on my fingetips
That once traced
The lines of your shoulderblades;
And the music bled
On the frets
Beneath my fingers
As I tried so hard, so hard,
To forget you,
My words, my drifting music.