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A collaboration over too much coffee.
coffee and pen

31 July, 2005

A Not Unlikely Reply to "Letter of Resignation..."

We are in receipt of your letter dated…
and are constrained to note
that you adopt a tone unbefitting
a subordinate – and we quote…
While we’ve no objection to your quitting,
please be informed that approval’s awaited.

We cannot but observe - and we could cite -
that you speak most insultingly of those
who, you must know, are your superiors.
The tenor of your communication shows
your contempt or, what’s more serious,
seems to suggest a deliberate slight.

You’ve called our beloved CEO a sod,
a word we’ve carefully looked up and find
is short for sodomite: a grave imputation
not just unwarranted, but unkind
in view of his well earned reputation
as a family man, and a man of God.

As for the comic army you mention,
please be informed that we’re outraged.
The idea is monstrous, you seem to imply
that we’re jokers ossified and aged:
a bunch of geriatrics who refuse to die,
and who’d be better off with a pension!

Your insolence merits disciplinary action.
However, we’re compelled to take a lenient view
(oddly, you have friends in our higher ranks
who have good things to say about you,
and it’s to them you owe your thanks),
and dismiss it as a minor infraction.

You’ve been trouble, say what you will, but
the fates and a few have been indulgent:
you’ve got by on your language and brains
(the one useless and the other redundant),
and forever have caused us posterior pains.
And by the way, who on earth is Gilbert?




Blogger the still dancer said...

very redolent of ezekiel, and oddly enough, vikram seth. More acerbic than either though.

31 July, 2005 14:10  
Blogger livinghigh said...

The We Love Gilbert Club has already dashed off a note of righteous indignation to ure former employers! ;-)

31 July, 2005 18:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like this one even better than the unlikely letter of resignation. Classy writing as always.

03 August, 2005 00:15  

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