And so you return, my love

And so you return, my love,
as if nothing had happened,
expecting the yearning
I have let you claim as your own.
You dance for me,
tap on my window,
sing siren songs from under the trees,
confident that I will smile,
and come running.
Yes, it's true
that in the past
I have forgiven anew each year
your absence,
let go unquestioned
your other dalliances;
content to love you
when you want to be loved.
But after last year,
when you battered me senseless;
after last year,
when you took so much of me;
after last year,
I welcome you ..
with hesitation,
with fear.
Yes, I need you,
I will admit that.
But it's a saner love now,
after last year.