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A collaboration over too much coffee.
coffee and pen

15 November, 2004

Rant: Wherein does one search for the origin of that relentless need to connect?

The call of the day being out on more essays, rants and opinions, I hereby answer.

You were talking about love yesterday. I agree with you upon the futility of love. We know it's a weakness. And yet, you and me derive our strength from love. We can't help being human. Humans, like software programs with bugs, are short-circuited and they're barely aware of this; but worse, cannot correct it. At least they cannot autocorrect because they're unable to even guess the distensions of their own short-circuitry. That's where sociability comes in. That's where that need to meet and connect with other humans comes in.

We are, innately but not acutely, aware of our imperfections and we constantly look to each other as if we're mirrors that could showthese imperfections. It's only after we've spotted our imperfections in a fellow-human mirror that we change. Ever heard the occassional, Love has made me a changed man!?

In changing for (the fellow human) the image displayed in some mirrors, we build relationships. Relationships is a big word. I'd rather use love - not only is it simpler to write but also to understand. I mean, isn't there love in all relationships irrespective of type? In fact, what differs one relationship from another is just the amount of love. So every exchange you make with another person, even a stranger, is an exchange of love. We have always known this. That's why we have songs like, Love makes the world go round, or old wives tales that tell how an act of kindness always comes around. (I use song-titles and tales to exemplify my point because they're works of art and consequently true expressions of the human self.)

I just wonder if love isn't that very same bug that's short-circuitingour near-perfect human systems, also featuring a virus-like ability to replicate. Speaking lightly, don't people usually ask you, Have you fallen in love? in the same way that they would ask, Are you down with the flu? Either way, it's a bottom-oriented state. Why then, does that feeling of I'm on top of the world! pop up?

The virus analogy answers this one too. People suffering from the flu get better quickly only so that they can spread their infection to the other healthy folk around. Similarly, humans in love infect everyone they come in contact with by unabashedly exhibiting their happy I'm-in-love face. So, the way I see it, therein lies the origin of that relentless need to connect.


Blogger Max Babi said...

Hi Sonia,

This is a wonderful piece.
Could you add a topic and write again
on Falling In Love With Love?
That is a peculiar phenomenon too.


15 November, 2004 17:18  
Blogger Geetanjali said...

I loved this piece - there's nothing new in what you've said. We all know it, oft repeat it, it's almost like a refrain that's embedded into our subconscious, yet the way you've put it makes it seem like something new. The art of defamiliarisation - making the familiar unfamiliar, adding a dash of new-ness into a much beaten theme - that's what differentiates the ordinary from the exceptional!

15 November, 2004 20:30  
Blogger midinmid said...

It makes an interesting reading, provoking too a little. Love, though so natural, has always been intriguing also. See, you say that after we see our imperfections in others we tend to change. It sounds convincing but then why do we revert? Is the impact love only momentary or temporary? Would you elaborate in some of yours next pieces?

16 November, 2004 17:16  
Blogger raindanseuse said...

Max: picked this one up from my archives ... will have to muse on 'falling in love with

love' for a while. In another time, I have dedicated many words to the topic but not in

writing. So I'll need to watch for that loose end of a thought, grab it and then extend

it and kill it with typeface!

Geets: your comments are really something and not just for the appreciation they convey. they're frank and seem to bounce off very naturally. thanks. I found your comments so inviting, I went over my piece once again :). while its nice to see you in the comments section, do write something for the front-page of the blog; I'm looking fwd to it.

Midinmid: thank you especially since you were provoked. First, I would have to argue that I'm not talking about love per se; I referred to love as a measurement system or in terms of the different shades with which it colours relationships in general. As to why we revert after changing and the impact momentary or temporary, I really don't have all the answers; I could hypothesize over a conversation that might last hours, days, who knows! But I shall give it some thought and put it in another piece.

17 November, 2004 00:36  

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