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A collaboration over too much coffee.
coffee and pen

01 November, 2004

Three Poems

Summer Urchins.

Summer burns,
sets trees free,
to abandon leaves.

Urchins on the roads
That chase cars on melting tar.

Leaves let loose
Changing directions,
Every few moments.

Chasing dreams!

30/4/02


War

Blake wrote -
“energy is delight”

When bombs rip open
Lives rarely seen,
Flashes of light
Are energy personified
So are the sounds
And shards that kill.
Eventually silencing.

Souls, dreams, people, minds.

Where is delight then?
9/4/03

Face lifts

Curls of wood evenly glazed
Away from my arms
Tufts of air disguised as breeze
Gently tugging at sleeves
Mind struggling to remember
Some profound piece of poetry
That some well read beard face
Stoically said was good!

Awake, not really,
Sleep not yet percolated into
The abyss of mind
It has not even seeped out.
Wetting the pillow on the other side.

Like I said, a few lines, years ago:
Curls of wood
Fall off every now and then.
As the planer glides by.

Leaving a smooth glossy finish,
Sophisticated.
Maybe a coat of varnish
And the sheen will be permanent.
Who says facelifts are difficult.
14/4/03

(c) Sunil R Nair 2004

From the collection Silhouettes.

In case the readers do like the poems, I would love it if they could tell me why they liked them. And if they do not, then please let me know the reasons too. I would prefer a larger feedback than a mere "bravo"

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6 Comments:

Blogger Pye said...

Out of the three, I liked Summer Urchins for its simple language but deep meaning. The poem starts out slow, and I think it's a well done but 'not very unordinary' piece, until I come to the last line, and that alone elevates the writing from usual to something more.

War. Well, not my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its good points. I loved
"When bombs rip open
Lives rarely seen,"

Face lifts. Mixed reaction. I probably missed the meaning you intended the reader to get out of this piece of writing, but then I appreciated the words. Especially
"Mind struggling to remember
Some profound piece of poetry
That some well read beard face
Stoically said was good!"

Hope this helps. :)

02 November, 2004 00:03  
Blogger Geetanjali said...

Over all - what I liked about the poems was the imagery of the words. The words truly paint a very vivid picture for the reader...

In "War" I felt that the staccato rhythm used enhances the theme of the piece...

In "Faceliefts" the metaphor of "curls of woods" was particularly appealing and snagged my attention!

May I end by saying "BRAVO" ? ;-)

02 November, 2004 10:33  
Blogger junoesque said...

in the difference lies the twist. the surprise.
different forms of energy, manifested in so many forms.
halts me in my thoughts. the flashes of light hurt my eyes.....

02 November, 2004 11:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Summer Urchins... is real!!
We too are chasing our dreams... some way or the other!!

02 November, 2004 12:46  
Blogger zigzackly said...

Sunil

Your last lines, IMHO, let you down.

02 November, 2004 17:30  
Blogger Nyssa said...

Sleep not yet percolated into
The abyss of mind
It has not even seeped out.

---I guess I just love those poems that'll cause a motley of very vivid images in the mind's eye when you read them.. :)

14 December, 2004 16:45  

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