.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
A collaboration over too much coffee.
coffee and pen

15 December, 2004

Earthen pot

i moulded the clay,
supple in my warmth
and created an earthen pot.

Filled it with dreams,
seeded with life,
safely securely,

How would i know?
everyday it drained,
left stains and scrapes.

and somewhere
when i forgot,
all those dreams escaped.

leaving behind

An earthen pot
with the rim intact
and the womb all cracked
life all drained.

every now and then
it rains here in my life
and each drop that collects
resembles those dreams.

optical illusions
of the water stored years ago.

i moulded the clay again,
supple in my warmth
and created an earthen pot.

alas, it never has been like my old earthen pot.

(was trying something here and did not like the final outcome, will await your verdict)



Blogger Max Babi said...

Clap clap clap x infinity.
It couldn't have been better.

cheers !

15 December, 2004 11:42  
Blogger manisha lakhe said...

agree with max!

but if you must add/subtract, then follow your initial thought of building a pot for your dreams...instead of optical illusions etc.,say:
so i moulded some more clay/ and built another pot/would never be the same/i know/but hopes make warm this brand new pot/ and i am not the same.

i am not the same sounds very idiotic right now, but the idea that you have grown too/ have changed is the idea...creating, moulding pots is such a positive idea, please end it on a positive note...just my tuppence worth...

15 December, 2004 12:50  
Blogger Anil said...

This is beautiful...loved the delicate imagery the most....but I do have to say the ending was well for want of a better word tame...I feel it would have been better if you had ended it at "...stored years ago"

15 December, 2004 19:00  
Blogger Dilfiza Khalfey said...

Imagination is wonderful....clap...clap...
One of your bests..

15 December, 2004 20:48  
Blogger Max Babi said...

hey sunil

don't let a democratic wind sway your own
poetic judgment... we are here to read you,
not to ask you to tune your strings or
change the instrument or clear yr throat...
ad nauseam.
Sing on, wise canary!

cheers !

15 December, 2004 23:10  
Blogger Sreekesh Menon said...

deep and soft as the earthern pot !

16 December, 2004 10:12  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Front Page