Angel

Oh, how my breasts sag!
Cover them up in lycra rag,
Each eye carries a bag,
I think I look like a hag,
If I see my reflection I gag.

My big nose is forever runny,
Not a bone in my body is funny,
Personality not exactly sunny,
Might take mucho money,
To turn me into a Playboy bunny.

People give me a wide pass,
For my voice cracks glass,
And my vocabulary is crass,
I cover its ugliness, alas!
With hair colored brass.

Size nine adorn my feet,
Hips wide with cellulite,
My thighs chafe as they meet,
My knees crack as they greet,
Other knobby ones on the street.

My legs are short and stumpy,
My stomach is soft and lumpy,
A shoulder tic makes me jumpy,
My overall looks are frumpy,
Usually the dumped not the dumpee.

My butt is greasy with acne cream,
To armpit hair stick tulsi and neem,
To nightmares I turn your every dream,
Don’t read anymore, just scream,
“Hail, angel of low self esteem!”