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A collaboration over too much coffee.
coffee and pen

13 January, 2005


I had plans for it
been waiting for it
been thinking about it
it came and went
i did not realize it
future to present
present to past
the moments
just slipped by
i am waiting again,
trying to hold on...
to the moments!



Blogger cbeck said...

It always seems to be that way.

I don't know if you like critiques here. but i like this. It is evident from a careful read of the lines that it is the moment that is the subject matter, unless i read wrong. For that reason i feel you kill the mystery, the thing that make me think harder in the last line when you point out "to the moments". I would suggest leaving it vague. Perhaps in the last line, return to "it" such as: trying to hold on-/trying to capture it!

I think it leaves the reader somewhat intrigued. but just a thought from a weary traveler. I hope no offense is taken. Cheers.

13 January, 2005 01:39  

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