The Literary Valentine

If you will be my Valentine,
i could be your Frankenstein
(yes, i know that it really should be
Dr F's monster, but us would-be

Poets take liberties all the time
When we struggle to find a rhyme)
Or perhaps this poem could be the better for
A different literary metaphor.

Hm, let's see, Juliet and Romeo
Ended with way too much gore.
Like too many that i can recall,
It ended with death for one and all.

Could fairy tales provide some laughter
before the inevitable "happily ever after?"
Beauty and the Beast? Now there's a thought.
For one, it doesn't end in nought.

And, because of the way i look,
There's no chance of offence being took
About who's the Beast and who's the Cutie.
Yes, perhaps the tale can be pressed into duty -

But in this age it would never do
To have a lead character who
Abducts the girl, as the Beast, forsooth,
Did. That would be most uncouth.

Alas, this poem is doomed, i think,
A waste of (what's the cyber version of ink?)
Much better just to give up and say:
Come read with me this Valentine's Day.

February 2004